Epic Story Number 1: Fire in the Canyon!

This happened and I decided to totally write a blog thing about it. Then I thought that there are other stories about Me and My Dad that I could totally tell too. I got some more things from My Friend’s brother about links and inserting videos. So this is my first “epic.” Check it out. It’s totally good.

One time Me and My Dad battled a brushfire in the canyon. It was kind of like this random You Tube video.

My Dad used to be a firefighter. So he is totally qualified to fight fires. He went to the Fire Academy.

He lived at the Firehouse. He worked there for like ten years. But then, this one time, he was rolling up the big hose on the fire truck, and he totally tweaked his back.

It’s sad because My Dad had to take early retirement from the Department. He gets full disability pay and benefits for like life because he was injured in the line of duty with the hose.

So that’s cool.

My Dad still has a mechanical back from his injury though. His back could totally go out at any time. But My Dad doesn’t let it stop him.

Anyways, a couple of weeks ago we were watching Family Guy on TiVo. That show’s totally funny.

We switched back to normal TV. The news was on.

They were all talking about this big brushfire in the canyon that couldn’t be contained. It was threatening homes.

This one fire guy came on the TV, and My Dad totally knew the guy from before.

The fire guy said that the fire in the canyon could not be contained.

It was weird because My Dad just got up and was like all, “Let’s go.”

And I was like all, “Where?”

And he was all, “To help with the fire.” And I was like all, “Hell yeah!”

But I didn’t really say that.

We drove the truck instead of the Hummer. The Hummer was low on gas. Plus, My Dad says the truck is better off road. Have you ever seen those commercials?

We left so fast that My Dad didn’t even clear out the construction stuff from the flatbed.

My Dad has this Fire Department sticker on the truck. He can go fast and stuff, and the police will just let him go because of the sticker. You see them all over. They look like this:

When we were driving up into the canyon, My Dad was explaining all about how there was so much fuel for the flames due to the drought conditions we’d been having.

I wondered if it was global warming.

My Dad was all “No Way.” Global Warming is based on junk science.

When we finally got to the canyon area, you could see flames! I totally wished that I had brought the digital video camera.

There was all this smoke and trucks and helicopters.

At first, I kind of thought that we wouldn’t be able to get through because roads were blocked off and stuff. But My Dad said that the Fire Department sticker on our truck gave us immunity.

It was actually really smoky and hard to see. Then, we saw like flashing lights and a bunch of fire trucks and guys in full-on fire gear with oxygen masks and everything. It was intense.

We found the Fire Guy that My Dad knew from before. He was like, “What are you guys doing here?” because of the danger and everything.

My Dad said since he had been with the Department he could totally consult. One time, he worked the radio to tell the helicopters that drop water on the flames from the sky on where to drop the water from the sky .

The Fire Guy said it was cool that Me and My Dad showed up. But it looked like the fire was going to be contained pretty soon.

My Dad said the situation looked pretty gnarly to him, and the TV said the fire was not contained. My Dad told the Fire Guy that the Fire Guy was too close to the action to get a clear idea of the big picture. My Dad said that actually the fire was NOT EVEN going to be contained pretty soon.

The Fire Guy was all, “Okay, whatever.”

Since we had the truck, My Dad volunteered to hunt out hotspots for the choppers. So we went off road into the canyon!

My Dad was totally right. The fire was not even nearly contained. Flames were coming up the side of the canyon!

My Dad said that we had found an unseen hotspot.

My Dad had his cellphone. He was totally going to call the firefighters to the area.

But he couldn’t get reception on the phone. Then, he got all mad and threw the phone into the canyon. below. Then, he said it was okay that he threw it because we were supposed to get a free upgrade on our cellphones anyway. Plus it was only a Motorola RAZOR he threw, and not like his Blackberry.

Anyway, the flames were like attacking! My Dad stayed there on the edge of the canyon, but I was like freaking.

I ran back to the truck. The flames got near the truck. Some of the construction stuff caught fire in the flatbed.

I was like yelling at My Dad to get away from the edge and get back to the truck because it was on fire. I went over to get him.

I told My Dad that the truck was on fire. He looked over and saw it. My Dad said that if we drove down the hill fast enough the wind would put out the flames in the back of the truck and we could escape!

My Dad started running back to the truck that was on fire.

I kind of froze.

Then, I saw My Dad suddenly go all stiff in his back. His mechanical back flared up at a totally stupid time!

My Dad started walking like Frankenstein because of his stiff back.

The fire must have eaten through the gas tank or something because the truck totally burst into a ball of flames!

There was fire everywhere.

The truck totally burnt.

So that’s kind of where it ended. But we were lucky because the truck exploded. My Mom and My Dad threatened to sue the manufacturer because of the explosion. So we ended up getting a bunch of money and My Mom and My Dad got us a new Hummer H3.

Also later, My Dad got interviewed by the news about what happened. It sucked though because they didn’t show it on TV.

No! Wait! They did show My Dad interviewed on TV! But we didn’t get to see it because I was gonna call My Mom to TiVo it. But we lost the cellphone in the fire.

I bet the video of My Dad being interviewed is on the Internet or something. I’m totally going to Google it later.