Jessica Alba at Home Depot!

On Saturday, Me and My Dad finally decided to just go for it and build a treehouse.

Me and My Dad were always talking about getting a bunch of wood and having a treehouse in the backyard. We figured since I’m getting older that we better just do it. Build the treehouse.

So the first thing we had to do was to go to Home Depot to get some wood. We needed like some two by fours and four by fours and some flat boards for the flooring. My Dad also said that we needed lag bolts with washers and nuts.

When we got to Home Depot it was really hard to park.

Then, we were walking in and there was this hot-dog truck thing in the front of the store. Everybody was eating hot-dogs. This whole family was eating hot dogs. Even the baby. I kind of wanted a hot dog.

Inside, we found the wood.

My Dad was looking at two by fours. One of those guys in an orange apron, an Old Guy, came by.

My Dad asked if they had quality redwood planking.

The Old Guy was like yeah maybe, and My Dad was all do they have quality redwood planking or not? The Old Guy said that he worked in the hardware department. Not wood. My Dad and the Old Guy reach a standoff.

My Dad asked him where the lag bolts with washers and nuts were.  The Old Guy told Me and My Dad to look around. He worked in the hardware department, and he needed to go there.

But, like, wasn’t lag bolts hardware? So My Dad was like all hey, dude, you work here at the Home Depot in general. You are here to serve me. My Dad was all up in the Old Guy’s grill. The Old Guy was like all red.

We looked at the wood. There was so much wood.

My Dad wanted to use redwood planking for the floor of the treehouse. Redwood is more naturally weatherproof, My Dad said.

My Dad thought he saw some redwood planking way up on the top in the wood area. We needed a guy to go up and reach it with like one of those cars that has a lifter thing that you can raise up and down. A fork lifter. Yeah. That’s what it’s called.

We needed a guy with an orange vest to help. I thought I saw one.

He was a really big and had an orange shirt on and gym shorts. But then he turned around and his shirt said “Denver Broncos” on it. He had a really big stomach. And his hair was kind of longish.

Then I wasn’t sure if he was a man or like an ugly lady who was going to have a baby. I never saw a guy like that before. I wasn’t sure if it was a guy or lady or what.

Anyways, My Dad was like, we’ll just go get the wood from the top ourselves. Me and My Dad went to the back where they had these big bags of cement, you know, next to where they keep toilet seats. There was a fork lifter there.

My Dad said that since he had worked for the Fire Department, he had a special clearance to drive any kind of vehicle he wants. So My Dad got in the fork lifter and turned it on by pushing the on button.

I wanted to hop in, but My Dad said not to because there might be insurance liability issues because I’m a minor.

My Dad backed up really fast. The fork lifter did that “beep-beep-beep” noise like they do when they’re in reverse. My Dad kind of backed into one of the bags of cement.

There was like this cement cloud everywhere.

Then, the Hot Dog Family I saw before came out of one of the aisles. The hot dog baby was screaming and it ran out in front of My Dad.

It could hardly walk. It was holding its hot dog in its fist. My Dad dodged it.

But the mom was all yelling at My Dad for nearly hitting her child.

My Dad knocked over some hammers and some cans of WD40 that were on display.

There was like a puddle of WD40. I had never seen WD40 in liquid form like this before.

My Dad actually drove by two girl workers, but nobody said anything. They were speaking Spanish.
They were not bad looking.

My Dad finally got the fork lifter over to the wood area where we were. My Dad really worked it. The gears or whatever.

He rose the fork lifter to reach the redwood planking on the top. Then, he pushed it forward to pick up the wood.

But the boards or planks or whatever were stacked all wrong or something. There was all this slippage. My Dad barely nudged them, and they started falling down from the top!

My Dad bailed out of the fork lifter right away. He did this total shoulder roll away, which was kindof dangerous because he’s got this mechanical back.

The boards bashed into the fork lifter and tipped it over. It must have thought it was in reverse, because it started making that “beep-beep-beep” sound again.

Then, from behind, I heard like this voice.

Then, I swear, that Denver Broncos guy who I wasn’t sure if it was a lady who was going to have a baby came walking up. He or whatever came there and was all, “Whoa, this is all jacked up!”

Totally, just like that: ‘Whoa, this is all jacked up!’

But now I could tell.

It totally was a dude!

SKATE!!!!

Me and My Dad and My Friend made a skate video and were going to show it on You Tube.

My Friend brought over his new Mullen Uberlight deck. And he had this funny wolf man mask that he was going to wear. We were like cracking up.

I asked My Dad if we could use the new Sony digital video camera to shoot ourselves. My Dad was totally into it! He said that he would be our cameraman. My Dad said we could even edit the video on the computer and then upload it to You Tube!

So we pulled my portable mini quarter pipe up around the corner to do jumps off it and stuff. My Dad told me where to stick it.

I told My Dad that Me and My Friend thought the wolf man mask would be funny to wear. We could like ride around with it on and stuff. But My Dad was like “No.”

My Dad said we should make INSTRUCTIONAL skate videos that we could MARKET!

Me and My Friend were like good with making instructional skate videos that we could MARKET via the WEB, or whatever… but the wolf man thing… we still thought that was funny.

So My Dad was finally actually all like, “Okay.”

He said we’d make it so like the guy wearing the wolf man head was a lame skater. And the other guy would kind of show him how it’s done. Then, we’d show how to do tricks like…

The ollie… The kick flip… And the 360 flip… aka “The Trey Flip.”

So, My Dad told My Friend to do a lame trick as a wolf man. My Friend kinda didn’t want to do it lame. He wanted to do tricks. But My Dad kind of demanded that My Friend do it lame.

My Dad told My Friend to jump off the mini pipe, but to do it sadly. Then I would come in and show him the proper technique.

So he made My Friend do it a bunch of times. Finally My Friend was kind of like all, you know…

So My Dad was all, “Okay, whatever.” He would play the role of the lame wolf man skater himself!

But the wolf man mask was boy size. It didn’t fit My Dad.

So My Dad sent me back to the house to get his gorilla head mask.

My Dad always wears the gorilla head at Halloween to scare trick-or-treaters.

Anyways, when I got back, My Dad said that he had a better idea for everything.

Now, the guy with the mask on would be the teacher. He’d be like this killer skater who was pro back in the ‘80s who had a tragic accident where his head kind of got cut off, and he made a deal with this evil guy to get a new head, except like now he has the head of a gorilla. But he uses his powers for good by teaching kids skating tricks. And he solves crimes.

My Dad said the superhero thing would make the video EASIER TO SELL!

I was into it. So I asked My Friend, too.

My Friend wondered how we could fit all that information into our video.

My Dad said we’d stick it at the beginning in writing. On screen! Like the beginning of STAR WARS!

It’d be awesome!

My Dad made Me and My Friend get my kinked grind rail and the rest of my portable skate gear so we could show tricks.

It was pretty tiring. My Friend said he really, really wanted to work the camera.

I asked if I could work the camera. My Dad said Me and My Friend could take turns. But I’d go first.

So finally now it was like My Dad was this gorilla skater who’d explain how to do it to My Friend.

And My Friend kind of did this thing where he was like pretending not to notice My Dad. Like he didn’t care that there was this Gorilla guy like bugging him. It was kind of funny. I was kind of laughing.

So after that, it was time to get some action footage!

And check it! My Dad busted a stellar Front Side/Dark Slide on the kinked rail. Then he did a total 360 Flip to Nose Manual. And then this METHOD AIR OVER ME HOLDING THE CAMERA!

Seriously! MY DAD TOTALLY KILLED IT!

Then it was time for the big trick. I was all psyched.

My Dad would basically bomb down the hill… Then, he’d go for huge air off the jacked up mini pipe… Then, he’d pull off an epic 360 Method in air. Kinda like Danny Way jumping over the Great Wall of China.

But it didn’t go down like that exactly.

My Dad came bombing down the street. He got HUGE AIR off the jacked up mini quarter pipe! And I was like “whoa!”

My Dad did a total 360 in MID AIR!

Then, My Friend was like all, “Oh dude, look out!”

That’s because right when My Dad was in the air, This Guy on a Racing Bike was like ripping down the street.

He had on a yellow jersey, tight shorts and one of those space alien helmets. He was on a total Colnago.

I know it was a Colnago bike because I zoomed in on the logo.

The Guy was totally locked in!

But he totally swerved to avoid my kinked grind rail and ended up right under My Dad right when he was full on landing the 360 Method!

And then My Dad landed on top of him! How random is that?

The Guy on the Racing Bike totally started yelling at My Dad. He called My Dad a “Skateboard Freak.”

My Dad yelled back. He told the The Guy about bike safety and there are kids and that The Guy was lame because of his tight pants.

The Guy was all, “What’s this gorilla head for?” The Guy was demanding to know My Dad’s name and address and who My Dad is. He was going to sue My Dad for damaging his frame. Luckily, they were both wearing helmets.

My Friend totally bailed.

But I got it all on digital video! I even previewed it in the camera!

It’s sad, though. We didn’t edit it because My Dad wasn’t like there or whatever. But I thought I’d just stick the raw footage on You Tube, you know?

But there was like some issues with our hard drive… or the server wouldn’t upload it right.

So… like, you know, whatever.

]]> http://meandmydad.wordpress.com/2008/09/02/epic-story-2-skate-video/feed/ 0 wordinteractive SKATE!!!! http://meandmydad.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/epic-story-number-1-fire-in-the-canyon/ http://meandmydad.wordpress.com/2008/08/18/epic-story-number-1-fire-in-the-canyon/#comments Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:47:40 +0000 wordinteractive http://meandmydad.wordpress.com/?p=16 ]]>

This happened and I decided to totally write a blog thing about it. Then I thought that there are other stories about Me and My Dad that I could totally tell too. I got some more things from My Friend’s brother about links and inserting videos. So this is my first “epic.” Check it out. It’s totally good.

One time Me and My Dad battled a brushfire in the canyon. It was kind of like this random You Tube video.

My Dad used to be a firefighter. So he is totally qualified to fight fires. He went to the Fire Academy.

He lived at the Firehouse. He worked there for like ten years. But then, this one time, he was rolling up the big hose on the fire truck, and he totally tweaked his back.

It’s sad because My Dad had to take early retirement from the Department. He gets full disability pay and benefits for like life because he was injured in the line of duty with the hose.

So that’s cool.

My Dad still has a mechanical back from his injury though. His back could totally go out at any time. But My Dad doesn’t let it stop him.

Anyways, a couple of weeks ago we were watching Family Guy on TiVo. That show’s totally funny.

We switched back to normal TV. The news was on.

They were all talking about this big brushfire in the canyon that couldn’t be contained. It was threatening homes.

This one fire guy came on the TV, and My Dad totally knew the guy from before.

The fire guy said that the fire in the canyon could not be contained.

It was weird because My Dad just got up and was like all, “Let’s go.”

And I was like all, “Where?”

And he was all, “To help with the fire.” And I was like all, “Hell yeah!”

But I didn’t really say that.

We drove the truck instead of the Hummer. The Hummer was low on gas. Plus, My Dad says the truck is better off road. Have you ever seen those commercials?

We left so fast that My Dad didn’t even clear out the construction stuff from the flatbed.

My Dad has this Fire Department sticker on the truck. He can go fast and stuff, and the police will just let him go because of the sticker. You see them all over. They look like this:

When we were driving up into the canyon, My Dad was explaining all about how there was so much fuel for the flames due to the drought conditions we’d been having.

I wondered if it was global warming.

My Dad was all “No Way.” Global Warming is based on junk science.

When we finally got to the canyon area, you could see flames! I totally wished that I had brought the digital video camera.

There was all this smoke and trucks and helicopters.

At first, I kind of thought that we wouldn’t be able to get through because roads were blocked off and stuff. But My Dad said that the Fire Department sticker on our truck gave us immunity.

It was actually really smoky and hard to see. Then, we saw like flashing lights and a bunch of fire trucks and guys in full-on fire gear with oxygen masks and everything. It was intense.

We found the Fire Guy that My Dad knew from before. He was like, “What are you guys doing here?” because of the danger and everything.

My Dad said since he had been with the Department he could totally consult. One time, he worked the radio to tell the helicopters that drop water on the flames from the sky on where to drop the water from the sky .

The Fire Guy said it was cool that Me and My Dad showed up. But it looked like the fire was going to be contained pretty soon.

My Dad said the situation looked pretty gnarly to him, and the TV said the fire was not contained. My Dad told the Fire Guy that the Fire Guy was too close to the action to get a clear idea of the big picture. My Dad said that actually the fire was NOT EVEN going to be contained pretty soon.

The Fire Guy was all, “Okay, whatever.”

Since we had the truck, My Dad volunteered to hunt out hotspots for the choppers. So we went off road into the canyon!

My Dad was totally right. The fire was not even nearly contained. Flames were coming up the side of the canyon!

My Dad said that we had found an unseen hotspot.

My Dad had his cellphone. He was totally going to call the firefighters to the area.

But he couldn’t get reception on the phone. Then, he got all mad and threw the phone into the canyon. below. Then, he said it was okay that he threw it because we were supposed to get a free upgrade on our cellphones anyway. Plus it was only a Motorola RAZOR he threw, and not like his Blackberry.

Anyway, the flames were like attacking! My Dad stayed there on the edge of the canyon, but I was like freaking.

I ran back to the truck. The flames got near the truck. Some of the construction stuff caught fire in the flatbed.

I was like yelling at My Dad to get away from the edge and get back to the truck because it was on fire. I went over to get him.

I told My Dad that the truck was on fire. He looked over and saw it. My Dad said that if we drove down the hill fast enough the wind would put out the flames in the back of the truck and we could escape!

My Dad started running back to the truck that was on fire.

I kind of froze.

Then, I saw My Dad suddenly go all stiff in his back. His mechanical back flared up at a totally stupid time!

My Dad started walking like Frankenstein because of his stiff back.

The fire must have eaten through the gas tank or something because the truck totally burst into a ball of flames!

There was fire everywhere.

The truck totally burnt.

So that’s kind of where it ended. But we were lucky because the truck exploded. My Mom and My Dad threatened to sue the manufacturer because of the explosion. So we ended up getting a bunch of money and My Mom and My Dad got us a new Hummer H3.

Also later, My Dad got interviewed by the news about what happened. It sucked though because they didn’t show it on TV.

No! Wait! They did show My Dad interviewed on TV! But we didn’t get to see it because I was gonna call My Mom to TiVo it. But we lost the cellphone in the fire.

I bet the video of My Dad being interviewed is on the Internet or something. I’m totally going to Google it later.

So like I blogged last time I totally am going to blog more now. So me and My Friend were like looking at this blog and then My Friend said we should send a link to My Friend’s Brother because he knows all about blogs and computer things.

First thing he said was that we can customize the header in Word Press. So we did!

Yeah, I know it’s totally a white box. But that’s what’s cool! We did other images. My Friend said we could put advertisments up there, but we got all messed up trying to figure out the Google Ad thing with keywords and all this.

Then, I did some killer illustrations of skateboarders that I scanned in, but then the customer header thing wanted to crop them all weird. Like cut them off. So My Friend emailed My Friend’s Brother and asked him for like help. He said he could do it in Photo Shop if we sent him digital images. So we did that. But then like the images I drew were too big to be sent by email like normally. So My Friend emailed My Friend’s Brother again and were were going to like do this sending thing through the Internet servers, but me and My Friend were like all you know.

So then My Friend’s brother had to like go somewhere so he was was like “you know what? You guys should just do it white. Totally white blank.” And he emailed us back this ping file that fit the customer header image space.

And My Friend was totally into it because he’s been taking guitar lessons this summer. He went to a guitar lesson camp in Malibu. And My Friend was all, “it’s like the Beetles White Album.” My Friend can play Helter-Skelter.

So check it out!

I totally spaced about this blog. I was all amped like back in May to blog all summer about activities and stuff, but I failed. Got too busy.

But now there’s suddenly like nothing going on today except Olympics and I was like just kind of playing with the computer and stuff. Then I remembered this blog.

I swear I’m going to do more blog things. My Dad says I have to do some technology things because it will look good when I aply for colleges. Event though that’s like five years from now I have to start thinking about it. There’s guys I know who are doing like SAT test prep and they are like 11.

After the finals, I got this totally random comment from this dude called “Celt” who was all making fun of me and the Lakers. He was like all, “how you like your precious Lakers now, LA lightweight.” Then this other dude named Ned went off on Celt. And I was like “whoa.” Totally check out the post called “Going to Game 5?” to see Celt and Ned.

I was kind of bummed the Lakers lost to the Celtics, but I like KG, so it wasn’t that big to me. But Boston fans hate LA, I guess. Whatever. At lease we have decent weather in LA, and an ocean, unlike Boston. Get an ocean, then pop off.

Anyways, I showed the Celtic fan comment to My Dad, and he TOTALLY WENT OFF!!!!

First of all, My Dad didn’t like that his son was attacked, event though I said it was whatever. Next, My Dad is still really pissed because he lost like a bunch of money on Game 6, when the Lakers lost. He took the Lakers and the points, and the Lakers lost by 39. My Dad said that everyone knew that the Lakers were gonna win Game 6 because of the CONSPIRICY. The NBA totally wanted a 7-game series for TV ratings, so it was obvious that the Lakers would win Game 6. Game 7 was like whatever because anyone could win that game. But the conspiricy was that Lakers would win Game 6. So My Dad bet a bunch of money.

Anyways, My Dad started going off on Celtic fans when I showed him the thing about “LA lightweight.” My Dad was all like, “They chant Beat LA, Beat LA,” which is so lame. Nobody in LA would chant “Beat Boston,” because poeple in LA don’t care. We don’t even know where Boston is. My Dad doesn’t like LA teams, except for the Lakers. He goes to Staples to the sweet that his friend Rich Hill has.

Then, My Dad was like going off on Massachewsets. He was all like, they had gay marriage BEFORE California did. Plus, they nominated John Cary for president against president Bush. John Cary was totally libral. My Dad totally supported Mitt Romney because he doesn’t think we can trust John McCain to be conservative. But he will support John McCain against Obama because Obama is a libral.

And My Dad was like Celtic fans are lame and that there’s no way that the Celtics will repeat because they are too old.

Me and My Friend went and saw Kung Fu Panda this weekend on its opening weekend. We only went because My Friend’s dad got tickets because he works in the industry. It was like whatever. Jack Black is funny. We totally wanted to see the Zohan, but whatever.

But then after it My Friend’s dad was driving us home and he told us about this show he watched when he was like our ages called Kung Fu. Me and My Friend looked it up on You Tube. Omigod we were like all cracking up! When he’s all bald and stuff, and when the old guy with the white eyes all smiles. The he like randomly burns his hands. Too funny! Check out the video Me and My Friend put in today after school.

We are going to do more stuff later because My Friend saw this blog. I showed him the post about the Lakers that got the comment from Khandor. It’s going to be cool because we’re going to make a customer header and links and stuff.

So last post I said me and My Dad were maybe going to Game 5 with the Lakers and Spurs. Check it: we DID!

We got to go to the sweet that Rich Hill has. My Dad hooked me up after school yesterday with a pass, and we totally went after My Mom said she didn’t care. Rich Hill is this guy who finances all the construction projects that My Dad does. He’s got a sweet at Staples and his son Chasen and Chasen’s stepmom, who’s Rich Hill’s wife, go to the Laker games all season because they have tickets.

By now it’s totally old news, but I will say it again. LAKERS WIN!!!!!!!!! LAKERS WIN!!!!!!!! LAKERS IN THE FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kOBE TOTALLY went off for 39 points. They were down by like 27 in the first half, but Pow Gasol kept getting rebounds. Let me just say this about Rich’s Hill’s sweet. It was sweet! They have like free chips and sodas in there, plus a couch where you can lay down and watch the game on a plasma screen. Chasen didn’t even sit in the seats that you can see the court from because he was lying on the couch the whole time watching the plasma screen and nobody else even got to sit there. Chasen goes to all the games. He said that he likes the Suns more than the Lakers because of Steve Nash and they have a condo in Arizona where they go to all the spring training games for baseball. Me and Chasen were on all-stars. There’s a wet bar, too.

My Dad and Rich Hill went to this lounge place and smoked stogies for most of the game. So me and Chasen had the sweet to ourself except for all these other people who I didn’t know.

After the game we went to this like special parking area just designed for season ticket people. Chasen told me that the players parking lot is right nearby. And you could totally see the Lakers cars because they were all Lincon Navigators. I know Kobe has an Asin Martin because he jumped over it in that You Tube video. Then, we saw like the Spurs bus. I swear we saw some Spurs going there because they were really tall guys, and My Dad was all yelling at the Spurs guys. “YOU LOSE! YOU LOSE!.”

And we saw Charles Barkley also.

Omigod. My Dad knows this guy, Rich Hill, who has got like a sweet at Staples Center and he totally asked if My Dad could go to Game 5 with the Lakers and the Spurs. Me and Rich Hill’s son Chasen were on all-stars. Chasen will be going for sure. My Dad said he’d try to hook me up, too.

I totally am doing this blog because My Friend was all into it because of his brother. It’s kinda about me and my family, My Dad, mostly, because My Mom is all worried about Internet safety. So I’m not allowed to put like pictures of us in. Anyway, I put in some information about My Dad and My Mom with pictures I got off Google. This is my first post. I will stick in more links and stuff later because I’m like all trying to figure it all out. My Friend knows more than I do. Hope it works.